In the future we'll all be gay
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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