Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
