He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
True strength comes from lack of pants
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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