So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want to make out with him forever
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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