lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
