i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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