Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
