Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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