she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
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