Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
