North Korea, Best Korea!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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