Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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