omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I love you. Go after that dick
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize