Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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