just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I faked an abortion last night.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
