Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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