I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
