I only kidnapped one of them. chill
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
