on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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