Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
