But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
