alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
what day is it and did you see me today?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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