Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
