we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
