Do you still have your period?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
