Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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