Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
