Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
