Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
