He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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