I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My cat gives me a boner
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
