someone threw a dead crab at me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
