My room smells like vodka and shame
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
