Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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