So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
