She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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