It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's just like the Real World with babies
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
