Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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