And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
