Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
