Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
