addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
