I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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