Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
