do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
