hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
