smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
