I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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