lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
