Whod you bang
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
